When We Feel Like a Failure.

It May Seem Like We Have Failed but God Has Not.

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Anyone ever feel like you do not always understand why things do not work out the way you planned? I wish God would speak directly to us today to tell us exactly what He wants us to do. I wish He would say yes this is what I want you to do, or no don’t do that. Do you think we would really listen to Him or just argue with Him and tell Him what we want? Maybe I do not know what I am wishing for. There might be stricter consequences if He did that. We know He speaks directly to us through His Word and that is good enough because that is His plan.

I may fail God but He will never fail me. God will not fail us or forsake us. Hebrews 13:5 Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU.

Joseph’s brothers did evil to him but God used it for His glory and good. Genesis 50: 19 But Joseph said to them, Do not be afraid, for am I in God’s place? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring this present result, to preserve many people alive.

But sometimes I am a little confused on exactly what He wants me to do at a particular time in my life. I feel like the Israelites wandering in the wilderness for 40 years, not knowing what is going to happen next. I feel like Moses when he did not get to cross the Jordon into the promise land.  God spoke through Moses for 40 years.  Then in the end when he could not enter the promise land but he showed great faith when he spoke to the Israelites.  I cannot imagine how broken hearted Moses was but I can empathize with him. This seems more real to me than ever now. BUT Moses kept his faith and he gave God the glory and credit.  God was the one who crossed the Jordon ahead of them. Not Moses.  Deuteronomy 31: 3 It is the Lord your God who will cross ahead of you; …. Moses tells them in Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you.

What seems like failure to us may very well be glory and success for God.  We do not know God’s ways and that’s the way He planned it. He has revealed everything we need to know to us. Romans 11:33-36   Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For Who HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, OR WHO BECAME HIS COUNSELOR? Or WHO HAS FIRST GIVEN TO HIM THAT IT MIGHT BE PAID BACK TO HIM AGAIN? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.

God does not need us at all. Acts 17: 24 The God who made the world and all the things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things; and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each of us; for in Him we live and move and exist, …For we also are His children.

He does not need us, YET, He desires us. James 4:5 Or do you think that the Scripture speaks to no purpose: “He jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us”?  8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double minded.  10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord and He will exalt you. He desires us to be in His presence so much that.

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He gave His Only Son for our sacrifice. John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

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Galatians 3:27 For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 1 Corinthians 12: 13 For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free, and we were all made to drink of one Spirit. One thing I do know for sure:  The greatest commandment is found in Deuteronomy 6: 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. Matthew 22: 36-37 Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law? And He said to him, YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND. This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it. YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.

Without faith, we would be so lost we would die. We would not know which way to turn.  We truly stepped out on faith when we moved to Zambia and we continue to live our life on faith in God and all He says in His word is true. We do not fully understand what has happened or why and we may never know in this lifetime. But we believe Romans 8:28 is true and God will cause this all to work for His good and His glory. Romans 8:35 Who will separate us from the love of Christ: Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril or sword?

My charge to you is to keep the faith and keep on keeping on.

Romans 8: 37 But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.  1 Peter 4:11 Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

We have been afforded the opportunity of a lifetime to live in Chipata Zambia for six months.  However, our greatest opportunity is to serve God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength where ever we are.

If you want to find this faith go to: http://www.worldbibleschool.org

My Beautiful Mother-10 Years

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My Mother was born on November 18, 1928.  She was named Winnifred Denise Shannon. She was called Denise, Rusty or “He” all her life.

Her Mother was Ruth Parker Shannon who was born in 1909 in Hooker Oklahoma.

My Mother was raised by her Mother and her Grandparents: James Ace Parker and Virgie Myrtle Pittman Parker.  They lived on my Great Grandparents farm near Red Springs, Texas. Mother called it the Sand Hills.

Mother was a beautiful child and grew into a beautiful woman. She grew up carrying a heavy burden that was not even hers. Because of that, she determined that she would be a great Mother and she lived up to that determination.

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She met and fell in love with a tall, dark, handsome young man named Bob Morrison down in those Sand Hills. He hailed from Saint Jo, Texas but migrated to Red Springs, Texas with some of his relatives to pick boles (cotton) one fine Fall.

Mother was almost 12 years old and Daddy was five years older. They had their first date during the first Fall, shortly after she turned 12.  Bob came back several more Falls to pick boles, or was it to court Denise? This went on for almost four years. When Denise was 15 and 1/2, Bob convinced her to marry him. He was already on his was to serve during World War II. They married in September 1943, just two months before she turned 16. Daddy spent the next three years in Germany, France, and Italy. Mother said more than once, when he came home he was a different man than she had married.  Daddy returned to Mother. The war was over but the battle still raged in her husband.

By February of 1947 they had added a beautiful baby girl to their small family. My sister Sharron was born of the 5th of February. She was dark haired and brown eyed. Three years later another baby girl was born into the family. Mother said she always wanted a bald-headed baby. Guess what? She got it and it was me. I stayed like that until I was well over two years old. She said I looked like an old, toothless, bald man. That cured her desire for a bald-headed baby.

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Mother, Sharron and Shelia

Three years later we finally got our baby boy. Bobby Earl was born on March 16, 1953. His birth is the first memory I have. I remember being so happy when he was born. I thought he came along just for me. He was always so special to me.

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Sharron, Shelia and Bobby

He was ornery and beautiful at the same time. The picture below depicts his orneriness. We were all cleaned up waiting on our Grandmother-Mama Ruth and Great-grandparents-Pawpaw and Mawmaw, to come see us.  In the meantime, Bobby found a mud puddle to ride his trike through. That’s the way he rolled.

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The Three of Us

We were not a family of picture-takers. This is a rare one of our family. Mother’s brother and his family were there, so I guess we got the old Brownie camera out.

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Bob, Denise, Bobby, Sharron and Shelia
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Bobby Earl

This is one of the last pictures I have of Bobby.

He was in a car accident and paralyzed

from the neck down when he was just 21.

He lived 13 months and died at the age of 22 years.

That is a story for another time.

Mother and Daddy and their grand children. Missy being the oldest grandchild got to name the grandparents. She chose Bob for Bob and He for Denise. Thus they became known as Bob and He to everyone who knew them.

Sharron has three kids and I have one. Sharron has several grandkids and I have zero. She has three great-grandkids. I have zero.

Back to my beautiful Mother.

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Shelia and Mother

This is one of my favorite pictures of my Mother. It was taken three years before she passed from this life. She loved birds and the Spring Time. One of her favorite hymns was I’ll Fly Away. She did fly away on April 7, 2007.

What was so ironic about that date; it was my Dad’s earthly birthdate. He passed from this life on April 27, 1992.

Mother lived a simple life. If she was guilty of anything it had to be that she loved too much. She loved her children and family deeply until her last day. She got to see all of them before she passed.

She taught me so much about God and life. She taught me to cook, sew and clean. She taught me how to worry about the ones I love. (Not always a good thing). I am more like her in a lot of ways than I want to be sometimes.

She taught me so much about dying too. The doctor told her that there was nothing else he could do for her but she could go to Hospice if she would like. My heart stopped beating and I could not breathe, as I turned to look at her, dreading to see the look on her face. Remember, she taught me to worry. It seemed like I was moving in slow motion. As I looked her squarely in the face, she had the most peaceful look I had ever seen on her face. She actually glowed. Her blue eyes sparkled and she had the sweetest-slight smile on her face. She said, “I am ready.”

Never in my life have I seen anyone so ready to die. From that moment on she could hardly keep from smiling. She was so tender and kind to everyone she came in contact with. Even when the pain was so intense that it brought tears to her eyes. That was a Tuesday and she left this world four days later, on a snowy Saturday around noon. She had just seen all of her loved ones and she was ready to take her leave by flying away.

As we mark the 10th anniversary of her death, I will never get over her not being here. I am forever thankful that God made her and she became my Mother.

Psalm 139:13-16 For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my Mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You,  When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; And in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.

I feel her is the Springtime when the grass turns green and the birds are back in full force. She loved the Spring because she was a child of the outdoors and nature. She grew up in those Sand Hills and she knew every inch of them.

I feel her when I hear her voice inside my head. I feel her when I think of how much she loved her family.

Sometimes I even hear her voice come out of my mouth. I know because Tommy tells me that sounded like Denise Morrison. I own it, I am my Mother’s daughter, good or bad. Mostly good.

I would like to have one more hug, one more birthday song on the phone from her, I would like to have one more loving me so deeply that it hurts from her. There are so many one mores I would love to have from her. But, I could never ask her to come back to this world for anything. She is so much better off than we are.

My Mother You will Always Be

I will love you forever,

I will love your always,

Always my Mother you will be.

Thank you, Mother, for all of the love and everything you did for me and taught me.

Shelia